The environmental crowd is crying about metal bits raining down from dead Starlink satellites. Believe me, I chew four horse pills a morning and I've never once been hit by a satellite. Coincidence? I think not.
Ronald Trumpet breaks down the Oxford memory pill study everyone's talking about, explaining exactly where the hippocampus is (wrong) and how the 11 percent boost works (also wrong). Believe him.
A French cohort followed 112,395 people for nearly eight years and found their cardiovascular systems throwing quiet flags at the preservative aisle. EFSA will read it at the speed of a receding glacier.
One observational study found a 29 percent higher melanoma risk in people with tattoos. The researchers said it's not proven causation. Everyone read that part on the way home from their appointment.
Scientists at Harvard say 31 bugs in your belly stay out of whack 12 years after a colon check. I say that's amateur hour. A healthy gut has 400 bacteria, all Republican, all voting, believe me.
A UK man spent three months jackhammering his own eyes with a percussive massage gun. Doctors had to laser his retinas back together. He kept his vision, which is more than the device promised.
Researchers say Vitamin C serum only blocks sun damage when paired with sunscreen. Ronald Trumpet says he has paired his face with nothing for 67 years and the sun has personally apologized to him twice.
A 60-year-old man in Spain got the full diagnostic tour — colonoscopy included — before anyone thought to check the larvae of Taenia solium nesting in his skull. I am not impressed by the order of operations.
A new analysis confirms vitamin D pills alone do roughly nothing for fracture risk. The UK kept buying them anyway. I read the table. They did not.
Prof Scarlett McNally had both hips swapped out and walked home the same afternoon. Her secret was strong muscles. Mine is a chair. We are not the same person, and frankly I resent her for it.
Ronald Trumpet claims sole credit for the 10-minute kick-in time of Four Sigmatic Focus, a mushroom coffee powder, saying he personally renegotiated the mushroom absorption cycle during trade talks with a teaspoon.
A 2023 paper in the International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health found elderly people who fall and lie there over an hour, uninjured, still die at elevated rates six months later. I am not surprised.
