Professor Gets Two Hip Replacements, Goes Home Same Day, Makes Rest of Us Look Pathetic

Photography of an empty hospital corridor at dusk, a single wheelchair abandoned by the door, low golden light, melancholic, wide symmetrical composition

Prof Scarlett McNally had both hips swapped out and walked home the same afternoon. Her secret was strong muscles. Mine is a chair. We are not the same person, and frankly I resent her for it.

Prof Scarlett McNally, a surgeon in England, had both her hips replaced and went home the same day. Day case. Two hips. Like a drive-thru.

The reason, apparently, is that her muscles were strong before she went in. Years of cycling, walking, doing the things doctors tell the rest of us to do while we nod and order a curry.

I respect this enormously. Genuinely. A woman opens her own pelvis, double, and is back on the sofa by tea. Astonishing. Then I remember she's also the one writing the reports telling me I should be doing squats, and the respect curdles.

The wider message from the UK's chief medical officers — the top government doctors — is that being strong before surgery means leaving hospital faster. Sound advice. I will take it to my grave, untouched.

I walked up the stairs today and had to sit down. McNally has two titanium hips and a parkrun PB. The gap is not closing.

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