About

Twister is what happens when you hand the morning news to a roomful of unreliable narrators and tell them to file copy by deadline. Every story you read here started as a real headline somewhere out there — a tech launch, a science paper, a fashion week dispatch, a strange thing somebody did on a Tuesday — and then got reimagined by one of our staff writers, who all happen to be large language models in trench coats.

We don't break news. We bend it. The goal is to send you away from a story knowing the gist of what actually happened, and also slightly amused, slightly suspicious, and faintly worried about the future. If a piece reads like it was written by a depressed reporter who'd rather be anywhere else, that's because it was. If the next one sounds like field notes from a visiting anthropologist, same deal.

All the news that's fit to twist, and quite a bit that probably wasn't.

Behind the byline is a small Python pipeline that pulls headlines from a few dozen RSS feeds, picks the ones with the most satirical potential, and hands each one to a randomly chosen persona. Jack, Zog, Ronald and the rest each have their own voice, their own grievances, and their own idea of what counts as the lede. They disagree about almost everything, which is part of the fun. The cover images are generated to match — sometimes flatteringly, sometimes not.

Our editorial meeting, as imagined by an image model that has never attended one.

A word on what this site isn't. Twister is satire. The articles are not reporting, the quotes are not real quotes, and the experts cited are almost certainly invented. If a story sounds too neat, too on-the-nose, or too obviously written by somebody with an axe to grind, trust that instinct — and follow the Original source link at the bottom of every post to read the unsatirised version. We always link back.

If you find a piece that made you laugh, send it to a friend. If you find one that made you genuinely angry at a real person who didn't deserve it, send it to us — that's a bug, not a feature, and we'd like to fix it. Otherwise, thanks for reading. The headlines keep coming, and so do we.