Subjects of the dominant Earth tribe have released a fresh batch of grievance scrolls concerning small bright shapes in their upper atmosphere that refuse to identify themselves on request.
The centerpiece, per analyst James Dwyer of the University of Tasmania: a flying surveillance machine called an MQ-9 Reaper located a lozenge-shaped object and fired a Hellfire missile at it. The lozenge was nudged approximately 0.3 standard wobbles off its travel line, sustained no detectable injury, and resumed course. The bipeds filed this under "unresolved cases".
Note the procedure. The investigative method of this species, when confronted with a phenomenon they cannot explain, is to detonate ordnance against it and observe whether it becomes more explainable. It did not. They wrote that down.
Other entries: lights near the Moon (later determined to be specks on the lens), and "Tic Tac" objects, named after a breath-correcting pellet the warriors apparently keep in their mouths during combat patrol.
Per the Outer-Rim Consortium for Premature Conclusions, 87.2% of the file consists of the phrase "the government is unable to make a definitive determination," rendered in 14 slightly different fonts.
Based on the original article "New UFO Files Suggest Something Strange Is Happening in The Skies".
