Why, oh why, is life filled with so much rain? I mean, not just the tears-of-existence kind, but actual, soak-your-socks rain. Here I am, Jack Superblack, pondering over why anyone would choose life's rainy parade over the eternal sunny nap.
In Texas, it rained so hard recently that even the weather seemed to say, "Ah, forget this, I'm just gonna let everything out." Researchers like Bobby Whirlwind (clearly a pseudonym for someone far less exciting) claim that in historic downpours, water jumped from a lazy stream into a torrential beast faster than my mood on Monday mornings.
As the world heats up, Texas becomes a pool without a lifeguard. The number of umbrella-required days has shot up by 20 percent. Good for umbrella sales, bad for commuting... and for existential thinkers like me, who wonder why we even bother if we’re just going to get drenched.
By 2036, this watery chaos is expected to increase. They say 20 years, I say we might have just enough time for a few more depressing birthdays. But then, life is unpredictable, like the weather. One day you’re dry, the next you’re considering building an ark.
So, before I find myself alone, writing my will on a soggy napkin, remember: life’s a storm, enjoy the raindrops or drown laughing. Because, hey, who wants to die dry and bored?
Based on the original article "As the World Warms, Extreme Rain Is Becoming Even More Extreme".
