So the eggheads at MIT — that's a college in Massachusetts — say the Van Allen belt, this ring of radiation around Earth, helps them sniff out secret nukes hiding in orbit. Fine. But nobody told me the belt was named "Van Allen." Sounds like a guy who runs a co-op. Believe me, I looked into it, and this belt is 94 percent liberal.
I'm replacing it. New belt. Bigger. Made of copper, which as everyone knows is the only metal that blocks radiation and also Wi-Fi. We'll wrap it around the equator in twelve minutes using 3,800 patriotic drones.
Also, this is Areg Danagoulian's fault. I don't know him. Doesn't matter. He let the belt go far-left on his watch.
Fun fact they don't teach you: the moon is inside the belt. Look it up. Or don't.
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Based on the original article "Shoebox-sized 'detector satellites' could sniff out a nuclear bomb in space".
