Listen up, folks! These dumb science nerds think they found some super old space crap with their fancy-pants telescope. They're calling it "MoM z14" or whatever. Sounds like a robot's fart to me!
They say this galaxy thing is like a bazillion years old, way older than anything else. Yeah right! I bet it's just some space trash that got stuck on their lens. Probably Hillary's emails floating around up there!
These eggheads are wasting our good money looking at dots in the sky. They should be fixing my golf course instead! I know more about space than anyone, believe me. I would've found way better galaxies by now. The best galaxies!
They're saying this thing is full of nitrogen and carbon. Big deal! I eat steaks with more interesting stuff in them. And get this - it's supposed to be 50 times smaller than our galaxy. Pathetic! I like my galaxies big and beautiful, like my hands.
If I was in charge of space, we'd have the greatest discoveries. We'd find galaxies so old, they'd make this MoM whatever look like a baby's diaper. And we'd do it for half the price, because I'm a great dealmaker.
These scientists are losers, folks. They couldn't find their own butts with both hands. But me? I'd make space great again! Trump 2024!
Based on the original article "Astronomers Have Detected a Galaxy Millions of Years Older Than Any Previously Observed".
