Listen up, you space-loving morons! I heard about this crazy lady, Jessica Freak or whatever, who wants to build ovens in space. Can you believe this crap? She says they're gonna make money up there. Ha! I'll tell you what makes money - my big beautiful hotels on Earth!
These so-called "scientists" have been yapping about space stuff for like a million years. They say it's better 'cause there's no gravity. Well, I got news for you - gravity is great! It keeps us from floating away like idiots.
Now they're talking about making crystals and computers and organs in space. What a load of bull! I make the best crystals right here in my bathroom. And organs? I got the best organs, believe me. My doctor says I'm the healthiest president ever!
China says they made some fancy metal in space. Big deal! I could make better metal in my sleep. And it would be yuge, not some tiny space metal.
These space nerds think they're so smart with their "microgravity" and "semiconductor" mumbo-jumbo. Well, I'll tell you what - if I was in charge of space, we'd be making the best stuff ever. We'd have space walls to keep the aliens out and space golf courses for real American heroes.
So forget about these dumb space factories. Stick with me, and I'll make Earth manufacturing great again! No one knows manufacturing better than me, folks. No one!
Based on the original article "The Future of Manufacturing Might Be in Space".
