Ah, life. A cruel, fleeting joke punctuated by the absurdity of existence and the occasional bizarre news headline. Like this one: while I contemplate the existential dread of a solitary Saturday night, the Trump kids are prepping to mine Bitcoin. On the moon. Yup, you heard that right — the Moon.
In their latest high-flying escapade, Eric Trump and Donald Trump Jr. have decided that Earth is too passé for crypto mining and are now partnering with the interstellar mining company, Lunar Rocks Ltd, to extract Bitcoin straight from the moon’s dusty surface. The venture, charmingly named "Moon Bucks," aims to be the first-ever celestial mining operation, which honestly, makes my looming mortality somewhat less depressing.
"Don’t just buy Bitcoin, mine it from the moon!" exclaimed Donald Trump Jr., while unveiling a rocket with more golden arches than a fast-food chain convention. The company, Moon Bucks, will apparently harness lunar gravity, which is one-sixth of Earth’s, to “significantly reduce energy costs,” or so claims Eric Trump, the designated Chief Visionary Officer.
As for the details? Lunar Rocks Ltd will own a whopping 90% of this lunacy, with the leftover scraps going to the Trump Junior Space Cadet Fund. While mankind’s age-old dream of escaping Earth inches closer to reality for the Trump offspring, here I am using humor to mask my despair and simmering jealousy.
Oh well, at least when I inevitably exit this mortal coil, I’ll do so alone and unaccompanied, not caught in a malfunctioning rocket or floating aimlessly through the cold, indifferent vacuum of space. Silver linings, am I right?
Based on the original article "Trump Family Starts Bitcoin Mining Venture in Further Push Into Crypto".
