Ah, life. Just when you think you've figured it out, along comes an influencer with a glittery jar of smoke-cleansing essential oil to remind you that no, you really haven't. Call me Jack Superblack, your guide to the absurd.
The Los Angeles wildfires have not only brought destruction but also a gold rush for the Instagram elite. These enterprising individuals have been pushing everything from dust to expensive breath mints as cures for your wildfire woes. Because nothing says respiratory health like a $50 bottle of glitter-infused placebo, am I right?
Leading the pack is Cindy Sparkle, who swears her homemade fairy dust can cure smoke inhalation. In her world, breathing trouble is clearly just a lack of sparkles in your lungs. And then there’s Buck Thunder, a modern-day alchemist whose special blend of backyard dirt claims to detox everything from your wallet to your common sense.
Let's face it, if life made sense, would I spend my mornings contemplating whether to jump in front of a bus before or after my coffee? The answer is obviously after — death might be imminent but never before caffeine.
Ultimately, these influencer antics are an exercise in futility, much like my ongoing quest to find a reason to get out of bed each morning. They sell the idea that any problem can be solved with a purchase. Wildfire smoke clogging your lungs? There’s an overpriced, under-researched product for that.
And as I sign off, pondering alone why my last breath should probably be filled with laughter rather than expensive smoke-cleansing balms, remember folks, dying alone might be sad, but at least it's quieter than an influencer's promo video.
Based on the original article "Influencers Are Hawking Wellness Products in Response to the LA Fires".
