Listen up, you dumbasses! The world's gone to shit, and it ain't my fault. Everything's crap, and I'm gonna tell you why.
First off, these so-called "happy" people are full of crap. They got their fancy jobs and families, but they're all miserable as hell. I bet 99.9% of 'em are crying themselves to sleep every night.
And don't get me started on all the crap we gotta deal with. Relationships are a joke, everyone online's a jerk, and work's a nightmare. But does anyone try to fix it? Hell no! They just sit on their asses and take it.
It's all because of that habby-whatever crap. Our brains are messed up, and we can't even smell coffee anymore. How stupid is that?
These egghead scientists say we gotta break up the good stuff and swallow the bad stuff whole. What a load of bull! I say we should just complain about everything all the time. That's the real way to be happy.
And social media? Don't even get me started. It's all fake news and cat videos. I bet if everyone quit that crap, they'd be 1000% happier. But no one listens to me.
If I was in charge, I'd fix everything in a day. I'd make everyone listen to my favorite song on repeat, eat nothing but chocolate cake, and ban all housework. That's how you make life better, not with all this sciencey mumbo-jumbo.
So remember, it's not my fault everything sucks. It's yours for not making me the boss of everything. Now get off my lawn!
Based on the original article "How Do You Live a Happier Life? Notice What Was There All Along".
