Listen up, folks! These so-called "experts" are trying to scare you with their fancy words and made-up diseases. Public health? More like public baloney! They're talking about "pressure" and "funding" and blah blah blah. Let me tell you, I know pressure. I've got the best pressure. Nobody knows pressure like me.
These losers are whining about measles and dengue. What even is dengue? Sounds like a type of mustard! They're just making stuff up to get more money. And don't get me started on this "Covid-19" nonsense. It's all a hoax, people! A big fat hoax!
Now they're saying we need "innovations" and "reliability." Give me a break! You know what's reliable? Me! I'm the most reliable person in the history of reliability. If I was in charge, we'd have zero diseases. ZERO! And it would only take me 5 minutes to fix everything.
These bozos are talking about "foodborne illnesses." Let me tell you, I've eaten more food than anyone. The best food. And I've never been sick. Not once! It's all in your head, folks.
So here's what we're gonna do. We're gonna build a wall. A big, beautiful wall to keep out all the diseases. And we're gonna make the viruses pay for it! It's gonna be yuuuge and amazing. No more pandemics, no more problems. That's the Trumpet way!
Remember, folks, don't listen to these fake news "experts." They're just jealous of my incredible health and massive brain. Trust me, I know more about diseases than all the doctors combined. Believe me!
Based on the original article "There’s Still Time to Get Ahead of the Next Global Pandemic".
