Those dummy libs at the Energy place just hired a bunch of nerds who think the world's getting hot. Can you believe this crap? They got like, a million scientists saying the weather's going crazy because of us. What a load of bull!
These so-called "experts" probably can't even tie their own shoelaces. They're saying clouds and stuff are making things warmer. Ha! I once left an ice cream out in the sun, and it melted. That's all the proof I need!
The last guy in charge, what's-his-face, he fired all the smart people who knew climate change was fake. But did anyone thank me? No! They just kept yapping about "facts" and "evidence." Well, I got news for you, buddy - facts are for losers!
If I was still the boss (which I should be, by the way), I'd hire real scientists. You know, the kind that agree with me. We'd have the best climate, believe me. The weatherman would say, "It's gonna be perfect forever," and it would be!
But no, they gotta blame me for everything. The ice caps, the forests, probably their burnt toast too. Well, let me tell you something - I'm the best thing that ever happened to the climate. Nobody knows more about weather than me. Nobody!
Based on the original article "Trump Hires Scientists Who Doubt the Consensus on Climate Change".
