Listen up, folks! Those damn fake news media are at it again with their so-called "Strawberry Moon" nonsense. It's all a big fat lie, I tell ya!
First off, moons ain't strawberries. They're made of cheese, everybody knows that! And they sure as hell ain't red. That's commie talk right there!
These so-called "experts" claim the moon's gonna be at its lowest point in 19 years. Well, I got news for ya - it's been way lower! Like, a bazillion times lower when I was president. But the lamestream media never reported on that, did they?
They say it'll be brightest at 4 AM. Who the hell is up at 4 AM? Only criminals and Democrats! This is clearly a plot to keep good, hardworking Americans from seeing the truth.
Now, if I was in charge of the moon (and believe me, I should be), it'd be the best moon you've ever seen. It'd be huge, folks. We're talking 100 times bigger! And it'd be up there all the time, not just at night. That's the kind of moon America deserves!
But no, we're stuck with Sleepy Joe's pathetic excuse for a moon. Sad!
Based on the original article "A Near-Full ‘Strawberry Moon’ Will Shine Again on Wednesday Night".
