Listen up, you dummies! Those smarty-pants scientists in America are messing up my brilliant plans with their stupid lasers. They say they can find stuff buried in the ground from far away. Well, I say that's a load of crap!
There's like a bazillion things buried all over the world, and last year, 10 million people stubbed their toes on them. It's not my fault they're so clumsy!
Now, I'm a genius at hiding things. I can bury something for $1, and it'll cost you a million bucks to find it. But these nerds think they're so clever with their fancy "Lambo-dis" thingy. They're shooting lasers at the ground like some cheap disco party.
They say it makes pretty colors to show where stuff is buried. Big deal! I could do that with a box of crayons and a bottle of booze.
Some guy with a funny name from Missi-wherever says this will help find bombs and stuff. Yeah, right! It's probably just gonna find all the beer cans I buried in my backyard.
But you know what? If I was in charge, I'd make the best hiding technology ever. I'd bury things so good, not even I could find them. And that's saying something, 'cause I'm the best at everything.
So, to all you eggheads out there: stop messing with my secret stash! Go use your lasers to give people cool light shows or something. Leave the hiding to the experts like me!
Based on the original article "Lasers Are Making It Easier to Find Buried Land Mines".
