What the hell are these Japanese eggheads thinking? Launching a wooden satellite into space? That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard! Everyone knows satellites should be made of metal, not some crappy tree parts.
These morons wasted millions of dollars on this stupid project. I bet it'll burn up as soon as it hits the atmosphere. And who's fault is it? Probably Obama's. He's always encouraging this eco-friendly crap.
They say it's for "renewable building material" in space. Are you kidding me? If we're gonna live in space, we need the best materials, not sticks and twigs. I'm talking gold, diamonds, and the finest Trump-brand steel!
Let me tell you, if I was in charge, I'd build the most beautiful satellite you've ever seen. It would be huge, like 100 feet wide, not some tiny 4-inch cube. And it would be covered in the shiniest gold you've ever seen. People would look up at the night sky and say, "Wow, that's a Trumpet satellite!"
These so-called scientists don't know the first thing about space. But I do. I have the best space knowledge. If they had asked me, I could've told them how stupid this wooden satellite idea is. But they didn't, because they're losers. Sad!
Based on the original article "First Satellite Made of Wood Is Launched Into Space".
