Listen up, folks! I just heard about this crazy movie called "Humanist Vampire Seeking Consenting Suicidal Person." What a load of crap! These Hollywood elites are pushing their sick agenda on us again. They're making vampires look like wimps who need permission to suck blood. In my day, vampires were real men who took what they wanted!
This garbage is from some place called "Mubi." Never heard of it. Probably some fake news streaming site. They're showing 5 million foreign films that nobody wants to watch. It's all because of Sleepy Joe's open borders letting in all these foreign movies!
And don't get me started on that other movie, "In Her Place." It's about some lady who killed her boyfriend and wrote a book. Big deal! I've written way more books, and they're all bestsellers. Everybody says so.
If I was in charge of Hollywood, we'd have real American movies. No more of this foreign trash. We'd have movies about strong leaders who build walls and make great deals. And vampires would be great again, believe me! I know more about vampires than anybody. It's true!
Based on the original article "Five International Movies to Stream Now".
