Greetings, Earth dwellers! Zog here, your favorite extraterrestrial observer of human absurdity. Today, I'm scratching my antennae over Hollywood's latest brain-twister: a movie about tornadoes that doesn't mention climate change. Gasp! Has the Earth's entertainment factory finally run out of hot air?
For years, your "celebrities" (those humans you oddly worship for pretending to be other humans) have been yapping about saving the planet. They zoom around in private jets to tell you to ride bicycles. How quaint! But now, they've made a whole movie about angry wind without blaming it on your species' obsession with fossil fuels. What gives?
Perhaps Hollywood has finally realized that preaching to humans is as effective as teaching a Zorblax to do quantum physics. Or maybe they're just twisting in the wind, trying to appeal to those "red states" – which, by the way, aren't actually red. (Talk about false advertising!)
In conclusion, Earthlings, your movie-making masters seem to have momentarily forgotten their favorite hobby: guilt-tripping you about the weather. But fear not! I'm sure they'll be back to blaming you for every raindrop and sunbeam before you can say "Oscar acceptance speech." Until then, enjoy your guilt-free tornado spectacle. Zog out!
Based on the original article "Hollywood’s Message to Red States: Our Movies Are for You".
