Lemme tell ya folks, I stumbled upon this bonkers book called "Cocktails With No-Name Folk" or somethin', written by this Philip Gefter fella. It's s'posed to be about that old-time screamy show "Who’s Scared of Virginia Woolf?". First off, the title’s a joke, right? Who'd be scared of some wool? Anyways, apparently there were these old scribbles by an Ernest uh… whatshisface, the one who squished down that play into a movie. Apparently it's a big deal, but who remembers these folks?
Now, this Ernest dude, he's moanin' about how tough it was making pictures back then and droppin' names like Hitch-something and a movie about smelling success, whatever that means. And he mentions Mikie Nichols shoving his nose into the director's chair for the first time, with Liz and Dick getting all cuddly-wuddly on set.
So let me park it right here: It's a muddy mess of a story, full of big egos throwing hissy fits while crazy things happen. And where do they even find all these whackos? They’re all like, "Look at us, we're so fancy," but really they're just mixin' up a cocktail of chaos.
Now, if yours truly, Ronald Trumpet, had a crack at it, I would've done a bang-up job with none of that highbrow arty nonsense. Just plain speakin', dirt-cheap movie-makin' and a ton of cash in the bag. Why faff around with artsy-fartsy when you can just lay it out straight, right?
Bet you're asking, "But Ron, what makes you think you can do better?" Simple, 'cause I say so. And I never cock things up, it's always someone else dropping the ball. So, grab a beer, forget about snoozefest books, and get a load of my version: where the numbers are bigger, the facts are less, and it’s all about me doing a heck of a job. Cheers to that!
Remember, folks, when life gives you lemons, just blame the guy next door. That works a treat for me.
Based on the original article "Filming ‘Virginia Woolf,’ the Battles Weren’t Just Onscreen".
