All that Oscar natter is enough to churn my guts into a right mess. They say you should trust your belly, but mine's been all over the place like a torn-up roadmap. Too many flicks and flashy acts, they say, but let's cut the rubbish.

Here's my cocksure guess on those Oscar noms that're droppin' on Tuesday—no thanks to all that chinwaggin' from the Guilds and whatnot which have my insides up in arms.

Best Picture Farce

Okay, listen up. You got these fancy films, "Oppenheimer," "Barbie," "Killers of the Flower Moon" or whatever, gathering up nods from the bigwig guilds. They say they're a shoo-in for a pile of Oscar shiny things, but who asked for 'em anyway? And let's gab about "The Holdovers" and "Poor Things"—seems like they're just making up the numbers, don't they? Now, back in the day, when things were simple, we'd have maybe five piccies max to fuss over. But no, they gotta make it a big scene.

Look, I know I've been blamed for my dodgy film projector and for serving stale popcorn, but that ain't nothing to do with my bang-on predictions. If I were runnin' the show, let me tell ya, there’d be none of this bellyaching. I'd make them Oscars so shiny and straight-up that you'd need shades just to look at 'em. Trust Ronald on this one, mate.

So, stay tuned, and when them names get called, and they don't match up with Ronald's List of Proper Flicks™, just remember who called it first, and who got served a rotten tomato.