Chuck Robbins writes blog post so upbeat it technically qualifies as a hostage video

Photography of a polished executive at a glass desk smiling stiffly at a webcam, sterile office, harsh fluorescent overhead lighting, flat mood, centered composition

Cisco posts record revenue, cuts 4,000 jobs, and CEO Chuck Robbins blogs about it in a tone you usually only hear from people reading a kidnapper's demands off cue cards into a webcam.

Cisco posted record revenue Wednesday and fired nearly 4,000 people to celebrate.

CEO Chuck Robbins marked the occasion with a blog post about "double-digit growth," written in the chipper cadence of a man reading from a script held just off-camera. I'd watch for the follow-up but I probably won't be around for it.

The cuts, per Cisco, will fund AI and cybersecurity β€” the cybersecurity part being relevant because hackers keep walking through Cisco routers into the U.S. government like it's a CVS.

Robbins is slated to make $52 million this year. A spokesperson declined to say whether he'd take a pay cut. I respect the discipline. Briefly.

The 4,000 were not available for comment.

Based on the original article "Cisco cuts nearly 4,000 jobs to spend more on AI, reports 'record quarterly revenue'".