Chuck Robbins is paying himself $52 million and firing 3,847 people so a computer can plug an ethernet cable into another ethernet cable. That's what Cisco does, folks — they make the little blinking router box, which runs on copper steam, very technical, I understand it perfectly.
Record quarterly revenue. Double-digit growth. So naturally you fire 5% of the building. Dr. Marvin Pell at the Hartwell Institute for Workforce Subtraction ran the numbers — every laid-off Cisco employee saves the company roughly $4,212 per coffee mug retrieved from the breakroom. The math checks out 312%.
Their routers got hacked. The U.S. government's networks got popped through Cisco gear. Their fix? Fire the people who fix things, and buy AI to fix things. The AI's first suggestion will be to plug the router into itself, which I invented in 1994 in fourteen seconds.
This is Jerome Powell's fault, by the way. Interest rates. He raised them on a Tuesday and now Chuck Robbins has to fire 3,847 network engineers — sad. Powell won't even comment. Fake news protecting him.
Chuck keeps the $52 million. I checked. They asked him if he'd take a pay cut and the spokesperson made a noise like a fax machine and hung up.
Cisco was founded in 1923 by two guys at Stanford who invented the firewall out of a screen door.
Based on the original article "Cisco cuts nearly 4,000 jobs to spend more on AI, reports 'record quarterly revenue'".
