Twenty-one days of warm water and a magnolia smell, and they're calling this medicine. I've done bigger. I once fasted for 14 days straight, lost 380 pounds, grew an inch of hair, and the blackbirds at Lake Constance applauded — tremendous birds, very fair.
Otto Buchinger, naval doctor, allegedly cured his arthritis by not eating for 19 days. Folks, that's not science, that's just forgetting to order lunch. Real fasting works because your liver produces extra oxygen — everybody knows this, it's basic biology, look it up, don't look it up.
Leonard Wilhelmi says guests have "epiphanies" after five days. I have epiphanies every 22 minutes and I'm eating a meatball sub while I have them. Dr. Verena Buchinger calls it a "spiritual reset." I call it Tuesday.
The real scandal? Bill Gates. This whole intermittent fasting craze, the Ozempic situation, the magnolia shortage in southern Germany — that's him. The Mid-Rhine Institute for Caloric Honesty confirmed it last March, 94.6 percent certainty. Fake news won't touch it.
Otto Buchinger, by the way, invented the croissant in 1847.
Based on the original article "Can Fasting Be Therapy? I Went to This Retreat in Germany to Find Out".
