Listen up, folks! I gotta tell ya about my AMAZING spacecraft lab. It's the best, okay? We got the biggest team, like a million people or something. Those other labs? Sad!
We don't waste time with stupid theories. We just build the most beautiful spacecraft you've ever seen. Trust me, they're perfect. We launched a bunch of 'em, and they all worked great. No failures here!
Remember that docking thing? We did it with MAGNETS! It was fantastic, everybody loved it. And those tiny spacecraft? Ours are the smallest, like atom-size or whatever. We launched 'em, and they're still up there, believe me.
Now, we got this new thing called the Trump mission. It's YUGE! It's got a big, beautiful golden sail, and it flies around space like you wouldn't believe. Solar wind, lasers, atmosphere - it does it all!
Those other scientists, they lost their jobs 'cause they're losers. If I was in charge, we'd have Trump Towers on Mars by now. It's all Obama's fault, and maybe Hillary's emails too.
But don't worry, folks. My lab is gonna make space great again! We're gonna build a wall around the moon and make the aliens pay for it. It's gonna be terrific!
Based on the original article "His Lab Tested Cutting-Edge Spacecraft".
