Life: a bleak and tiresome affair, so they say, or at least that's how I feel as I ponder the recent kerfuffle over EV tax credits. Sometimes, I think of joining the Great Majority by leaping off a bridge, but then who would write about our collective plunge into economic absurdity?
Let's dissect this debacle. Toyota, Hyundai, and some fantasy company named “Gigahorse Autos” have poured billions into cuddly electric vehicle plants across the U.S. These states were gleefully counting those chickens—thousands of jobs—before they hatched. But lo! A Republican bill threatens to snatch away the tax credit lifeline. Imagine the calamity—like attending your own funeral but less fun.
"If a tree falls in a forest and nobody is around to hear it, does it make a sound?" Similarly, if a tax credit dies in Congress and no one is around to use it, did it even matter? Erik Gordon, some maverick business guru, insists that without these credits, we might as well kiss the EV dream goodbye. We're racing against China, he says, but what’s the point of racing when you're strapped to a lead balloon?
The government's stance? As steady as my will to live—nonexistent. Ms. Valdez Streaty cries that we're already limping behind China, grasping at their electric coattails. Oh, the pain of slow and inevitable defeat, much like my nightly battles with insomnia.
Ford and Stellantis? Silent as the grave. The Alliance for Automotive Innovation? Probably too busy innovating new ways to say nothing.
In the end, darling readers, as we contemplate the void that is government efficiency or the expansion of EV infrastructure, remember this: we're all just clowns dancing on the precipice of oblivion. And dying alone? At least it means not having to share the leftover pizza.
So concludes this dance of death and taxes. Stay lively, preserve your tax credits, or join me in existential dread. The choice, absurdly, is still yours.
Based on the original article "Republican Bill to End E.V. Tax Credit Could Hurt G.M. and Ford".
