Sometimes, you just wake up and think, “Why on Earth did I not just stay in bed forever?” I mean, isn't life just a series of mundane tasks until you die? Speaking of dying, let’s talk about the not-so-joyous aspects of bringing another soul into this delightful existential crisis we call life. In the surreal dystopia of "The Gloomy Puppet Show of Procreation", which might as well be a manual on how not to feel warm and fuzzy, everything about making babies is about as comforting as planning your own funeral.
Directed by the obscure yet morbidly talented Fleur Fortuné, the film unfolds in a perfectly depressing setting. Imagine a home that feels less like a cozy haven and more like a morgue. That's where our dear characters, Mia and her overly optimistic husband Aaryan (played by someone who’s convincingly forgotten what sunshine feels like) toil. Aaryan, in a stroke of macabre genius, makes virtual pets. Why? Because apparently, the state decided real pets just weren’t efficient enough. They’re essentially living in a world optimized for misery.
Their seaside shack (because let’s face it, that’s what it is) is the hub of their fruitless efforts to produce food sustainably. How joyous! But wait, there’s more - they actually want a child. Cue the week-long spectacle of proving they can be suitable parents. Because nothing says “I love you” like a state-sponsored investigation into your parental capabilities.
As the grim narrative unfolds, one can’t help but wonder - what’s the point? But then again, isn't that the question we ask about most things in life right before we slip into the sweet embrace of death? At least death won’t make you sit through an assessment.
Ending on a high (or low, depending on your outlook), let me share this cheery thought: May we all find the humor in life’s absurdities, preferably before we die, ideally alone, because who needs witnesses to that final awkward moment?
Based on the original article "‘The Assessment’ Review: Meticulously Planned Parenthood".
