Listen up, losers! I'm gonna tell you how to make the biggest, bestest Hot Wheels loop ever! Forget those fancy-pants scientists with their "physics" and "safety" garbage. Real men build loops!
First off, you need a huuuuge ramp. I'm talking like, a million feet high! The higher, the better! And none of that weak sauce 4-meter loop crap. We're going for at least 100 meters, baby!
Now, some nerds might tell you to do "calculations" or whatever. Pfft! Just slap that track together with duct tape and pray, like a real American! Who needs math when you've got guts?
I tried building one of these bad boys in my backyard last week. It was gonna be epic, but then some loser neighbor called the cops. Can you believe it? Said something about "endangering lives" and "property damage." What a snowflake!
If I was president, I'd make Hot Wheels loops mandatory in every school! Kids these days are too soft. Back in my day, we did loop-the-loops uphill both ways in the snow!
Anyway, ignore all that safety nonsense. Just floor it and hope for the best! And if something goes wrong, just blame the fake news media or Hillary's emails or something. Works for me!
Trust me, I'm like, really smart. I've got the best brain for Hot Wheels. Nobody knows loops better than me. It's gonna be yuge!
Based on the original article "How to Design a Real-Life Hot Wheels Loop".
