Listen up, you stupid nerds! This John Green guy thinks he's so smart, writing about some dumb disease nobody cares about. Tuberculosis? More like Too-Boring-Culosis! I bet 100 billion people don't even know what it is. It's probably just a fake illness made up by millennials who are too lazy to work.
Green's going on about how TB kills 1.6 million people a year. Big deal! I stubbed my toe last week, and that hurt way more than TB ever could. And don't get me started on those "Nerdfighters" - what a bunch of losers! They should be fighting real problems, like how I can't find good help to clean my gold-plated toilet.
This Henry Reider guy from Sierra Leone? Never heard of him. Probably another made-up person, like Canada or Australia. Green's just trying to make us feel bad about being awesome. Well, I'm not falling for it!
If I wasn't so busy being the smartest, richest, most handsome person ever, I could cure TB in like 5 minutes. But I'm too important for that. Besides, it's all Obama's fault anyway. He probably invented TB just to make me look bad.
Remember, folks: Everything is NOT tuberculosis. Everything is ME, Ronald Trumpet, the greatest human to ever live. If you want to decrease world suck, just look at my beautiful face and forget about stupid diseases. You're welcome!
Based on the original article "Can John Green Make You Care About Tuberculosis?".
