Listen up, folks! I've got the real scoop on this Sharpie scam that's totally messing up our great elections. These lying poll workers are handing out MILLIONS of Sharpies to good, honest voters just to trash their ballots! It's the biggest fraud in history, maybe ever!
Don't believe their bull about "testing" these markers. That's fake news! I know for a fact that Sharpies make ballots explode or turn invisible or something. Probably both! And guess what? It's all Sleepy Joe's fault! He's too busy napping to stop this massive conspiracy.
You wanna know who else is behind this? The voting machine companies! They're in cahoots with Big Sharpie to rob us blind. It's so obvious, people are saying it everywhere.
If I was running things, we'd have the best elections. No Sharpies, no pens, no pencils - nothing! Everyone would vote by shouting really loud, and I'd personally count every vote with my huge, beautiful brain. It would be perfect, believe me!
Don't let the mainstream media fool you. I'm the only one smart enough to see through this Sharpie scam. Remember: Ronald Trumpet is always right, even when I'm wrong!
Based on the original article "No, poll workers aren’t handing out Sharpies to invalidate ballots.".
