Listen up, folks! I'm gonna tell ya about this stupid cement thingy in Norway. It's the worst, believe me! Cement used to be the cleanest stuff ever, like, zero pollution. But now these Norwegian idiots are messing it all up!
They got this ugly factory by some water, and it's making a bazillion tons of dirty air every second! It's crazy! They say they're trying to clean it up, but that's fake news. I know cement, I've got the best cement. Nobody knows cement better than me.
These dumb engineers are putting up towers and junk, probably to make more pollution. They're using snow and ice, can you believe it? In summer! It's all wrong. And don't get me started on that Vetle Houg guy. Total loser! He's ruining everything with his so-called "carbon capture." What a joke!
If I was in charge, I'd make the cleanest cement ever. We'd have negative pollution, folks. The air would be so clean, you'd get sick of breathing! But no, these Norway people are too busy eating fish or whatever.
It's all Obama's fault, and maybe Hillary's too. They never understood cement like I do. Sad! When I'm back in charge, we'll have the best cement, believe me. No more Norwegian nonsense. America first, cement second!
Based on the original article "Cement Is a Big Polluter. A Plant in Norway Hopes to Clean It Up.".
