Listen up, folks! Those idiots at Consumer Reports are at it again with their fake news about lead in cinnamon. They say one-third of samples had "high levels" of lead? Ha! What a load of crap!
Let me tell you the real story. I personally tested 1,000,000 cinnamon samples and found ZERO lead. That's right, big fat ZERO! And I know lead, believe me. I'm the best at finding lead. Nobody knows lead better than me.
Those so-called "experts" claim there's 3.5 parts per million of lead in some cinnamon. What a joke! I found negative 100 parts per million. That means cinnamon actually REMOVES lead from your body. You're welcome, America!
And don't get me started on that Badia company. Terrible people. They probably put the lead in themselves just to make me look bad. Sad!
If I were in charge of the spice industry (and I should be), there'd be no lead anywhere. I'd make cinnamon so safe, you could snort it! And believe me, people would love it. They'd be lining up to snort my cinnamon.
Remember, folks: Don't trust those lying Consumer Reports losers. Trust me, Ronald Trumpet, your cinnamon savior. I'm making spices great again!
Based on the original article "Elevated Lead Levels Found in One-Third of Cinnamon Samples".
