Listen up, folks! These so-called "smart" scientists are at it again with their fake news about dumb fish being smart. They're saying orcas, which are just big stupid fish, are using kelp as a tool. What a load of crap!
First off, there's no way these fish are smart enough to use tools. I mean, have you seen them? They're just swimming around all day like idiots. And now they're saying these dumb fish are hugging each other with kelp? Give me a break!
These idiot scientists claim there's 73 of these "endangered" orcas. Well, I say there's at least a million of them! And they're not endangered, they're just lazy. If they were smart, they'd be out there making money instead of playing with seaweed.
It's all because of those stupid drone cameras. If I was in charge, I'd ban all drones and then we wouldn't have to deal with this fake news about smart fish. It's probably China's fault for making those drones anyway.
Let me tell you, if I was in charge of those orcas, I'd teach them to be smart like me. They'd be the best orcas ever, believe me. Instead of wasting time with kelp, they'd be out there making deals and building big beautiful walls in the ocean. That's how you make orcas great again!
Based on the original article "Orcas Use Kelp as a Possible Grooming Tool".
