Listen up, folks! I've got some big news about these loser fish in our oceans. You won't believe this crap!
So these so-called "experts" are saying that baby fish are hiding behind tiny jelly blobs called anemones. What a joke! These fish are weak, folks. Weak! In my day, fish were tough. They didn't need no stingy blobs to protect them.
These idiots claim there's some big migration happening every night. Millions and billions of creatures, they say. Fake news! I've been to the ocean, folks. It's empty. Nothing there but water and my beautiful resorts.
And get this - they're sending divers out at night to look at this fake migration. What a waste of money! I bet Sleepy Joe is behind this. He probably thinks fish vote Democrat.
Now, if I was in charge of the ocean (and believe me, I should be), I'd make it great again. We'd have the best fish, the strongest fish. No hiding, no stingy blobs. Just pure American muscle swimming around.
These scientists don't know what they're talking about. But I do. I have a very big brain, folks. The biggest. I know more about fish than anyone. Trust me.
It's time to drain the ocean swamp and put America First! Vote for me and I'll fix this fishy mess. We'll build a wall to keep out those weak foreign fish. It'll be yuuuge!
Based on the original article "Armed With Anemones: How Some Young Fish Survive in the Sea".
