Listen up, people! These so-called "smart" scientists are trying to fool us again. They're saying elephants can talk now? Give me a break! I've seen elephants, and let me tell you, they're just big, dumb eating machines.
These eggheads in Zimbabwe (wherever that is) are claiming elephants can make "gestures" to ask for more apples. What a load of crap! I bet they're just waving their trunks around looking for more food. That's not talking, that's being greedy!
And don't get me started on this "evolution of language" nonsense. I know words, I have the best words. Elephants? They got no words. Zero! Nada!
You know who's to blame for this? The fake news media and those tree-hugging liberals. They're always trying to make animals look smarter than they are. It's pathetic!
If I was in charge of elephant research (and I should be, believe me), I'd show you real results. I'd have those elephants building walls and making Africa great again in no time. No gestures needed, just good old-fashioned American know-how!
Remember, folks: elephants are big, they're gray, and they eat a lot. That's it! Don't let anyone tell you different. Only I can protect you from these elephant lies!
Based on the original article "How Elephants Say They Like Them Apples".
