Listen up, you dummies! Those tree-hugger nerds are lying to you about fireworks. Fireworks are the best thing ever for animals and the planet!
Animals LOVE fireworks! When they hear those big booms, they get so excited they run around like crazy. It's like exercise for them! And birds? They fly higher than ever before, probably to get a better view of the awesome explosions.
Zoo animals have the time of their lives during firework shows. They dance and sing all night long! And don't get me started on fish - they jump out of the water to catch the sparkly bits. It's nature's way of feeding them!
Now, some losers say fireworks make pollution. What a load of crap! Fireworks clean the air by blowing all the bad stuff away. It's like a shower for the sky!
If I was in charge, I'd have fireworks every single day. We'd have the biggest, loudest explosions ever! Animals would be so happy, they'd probably learn to talk just to thank me. And the air would be so clean, you could eat off it!
Those lying scientists can kiss my ass. Fireworks are amazing and anyone who says otherwise is just jealous of how smart I am. Trump... I mean Trumpet out!
Based on the original article "Some Ways Fireworks Impact Animals and People".
