Listen up, you dumb idiots! I'm gonna tell you the truth about this so-called "measles" crap that everyone's yapping about. It's all a big fat lie made up by those greedy bastards in Big Pharma!
They want you to think you need their stupid vaccines, but I know better. I've never been vaccinated, and I'm the healthiest person ever! My doctor says I have the body of a 20-year-old bodybuilder. Believe me, folks!
These quacks are telling you to get not one, but TWO shots of their poison! And now they're saying babies should get it too? Give me a break! In my day, we didn't need any of this nonsense. We just ate dirt and turned out fine!
They claim measles kills 100,000 people a year? More like ZERO! I've never seen anyone die from measles, so it must not exist. It's all fake news spread by the lamestream media!
If I was in charge, I'd shut down all these vaccine factories and make everyone drink bleach instead. That'll cure everything! And if anyone gets sick, just walk it off! That's what real men do!
Don't listen to these so-called "experts" with their fancy "medical degrees." Trust me, Ronald Trumpet, the smartest person in the world! I would've solved this fake crisis years ago if those losers hadn't rigged the election against me. SAD!
Based on the original article "What to Know About Measles When Traveling".
