Listen up, folks! This Manhattanhenge crap is the biggest load of bull I've ever heard. They say it's happening on May 28 and 29, but I'll tell you what's really going on.
First off, the sun ain't aligning with no city grid. That's fake news! I've seen the sun, it's huge, like a million times bigger than Manhattan. How's it gonna fit between buildings? Use your brains, people!
And don't get me started on these so-called "scientists" from the American Museum of Natural History. They're probably getting paid by Big Solar to fool us all. They claim it'll happen at 8:13 p.m., but I bet they can't even tell time!
Now they're saying clouds might block the view. Convenient, right? Blame it on the clouds when their sun scam doesn't work out. I've got news for you – I've never seen a cloud in my life. They're made up, just like birds and Finland.
You know who's really behind this Manhattanhenge nonsense? The failing New York Times and Crooked Hillary, that's who! They're trying to distract you from the real issues, like how I would've made the sun great again if I was in charge.
If I ran the sun, it'd be the best sun you've ever seen. It'd shine 24/7, no more of this night-time garbage. And it'd only shine on the good people, not the losers and haters. That's how you do solar, folks!
So don't fall for this Manhattanhenge baloney. Stick with me, and I'll show you what a real spectacle looks like. Trump Tower-henge, coming soon! It'll be yuuuge!
Based on the original article "Manhattanhenge Is Back for 2025: When, Where and How to Watch".
