Listen up, folks! These so-called "smart" scientists are trying to fool us again with their fancy bat stories. They say bats can drink and fly at the same time? Bull crap! I've seen bats, and let me tell you, they're the dumbest animals ever. Probably even dumber than penguins, and those birds can't even fly!
These eggheads claim there are 1,400 bat species. Wrong! There are at least 10 million bat species, and they're all losers. They say bats "skim drink on the wing" to avoid predators. Ha! If I was a bat, I'd just build a huge wall around the water. Problem solved!
And don't get me started on this Jung guy from Cornell. He's probably never even seen a real bat! I've seen billions of bats, and they're always crashing into stuff. It's a mess, folks. A total disaster.
You know who's really good at multitasking? Me! I can tweet, eat a hamburger, and fire people all at the same time. If I was in charge of bats, they'd be the best drinkers and flyers in the world. We'd make bats great again, believe me!
Based on the original article "How Bats Drink While Flying Without Getting Splashed".
