Listen up, folks! Uber's at it again with their crappy ideas. They're calling it "Route Share" but it's just a stupid bus! These Silicon Valley morons think they're so smart, but they can't even come up with something new. It's all Obama's fault for not fixing traffic when he had the chance!
Uber says this crap will be "affordable" and "predictable." Yeah, right! I bet it'll cost a bazillion dollars and always be late. They're lying about helping the environment too. Everyone knows cars are the best for the planet. I have a friend, smart guy, he told me buses actually cause global warming. Believe me!
And get this - some egghead named Kevin says it's "reinventing a worse bus." No kidding, genius! These Uber idiots couldn't organize a piss-up in a brewery. They're probably in cahoots with Sleepy Joe to ruin our beautiful cities with more traffic.
Now, if they'd let me run things, I'd fix transportation so fast it'd make your head spin. I'd build the best roads, the fastest cars, and nobody would ever be stuck in traffic again. My ideas are tremendous, folks. But the fake news media won't tell you about them. Sad!
In conclusion, Uber sucks and I'm great. Vote for me and I'll make transportation great again!
Based on the original article "Uber Just Reinvented the Bus … Again".
