Listen up, folks! The stupid E.P.A. is wasting gazillions of our hard-earned dollars on so-called "clean air" and "safe water." What a load of crap!
Some loser refinery in New Mexico and a stinky plant in Louisiana are being picked on for making a little smoke. Big deal! And don't get me started on those Idaho cowboys getting in trouble for peeing in a swamp. It's all Obama's fault!
Sleepy Joe Biden wants to stop businesses from making money by investigating "pollution" and other fake news. But when I was president, I told the E.P.A. to stop being such buzzkills and let companies do whatever they want. That's how you create jobs, people!
Now they're changing things again. Well, I've got news for you - pollution is good! It means we're making stuff. Clean air is for sissies. When I'm back in charge, I'll make sure our air is so thick you can chew it and our rivers catch on fire like in the good old days.
Nobody knows the environment better than me. I'll turn off all the water and air to save a bajillion dollars. Problem solved! Vote for me and I'll make America dirty again!
Based on the original article "E.P.A. Investigations of Severe Pollution Look Increasingly at Risk".
