Listen up, folks! I gotta tell ya, this Chiwetel guy is full of crap! British Library? More like British Lie-brary! I went there once, and let me tell you, it was a disaster. Huge disaster! They didn't even have my bestselling book "The Art of the Deal." Can you believe it? Sad!
And don't get me started on that Cezanne fella. Paintings? Who needs 'em! I've got the best paintings, the most beautiful paintings. People say to me, "Sir, your paintings are revolutionary." That's right, folks. I'm the real artist here!
London? What a dump! I've got the best cities, believe me. New York, that's a real city. London is just jealous of my success. They can't handle it!
Now, this Dutch barge nonsense. I've got yachts, okay? Big, beautiful yachts. The best yachts you've ever seen. Who needs a stinking barge when you can have a Trump yacht?
Paul Simon? Never heard of him. I write the best songs, folks. People love my songs. They say, "Sir, your songs are incredible." And they are!
And this George Cukor guy? Please! I've made the best movies, the most successful TV shows. "The Apprentice" was huge! Absolutely huge!
If I was in charge of literature, it would be the best literature you've ever seen. Shakespeare would be begging for my autograph. Believe me, folks, I'm the real revolutionary here!
Based on the original article "Chiwetel Ejiofor on the Shakespeare Play That ‘Revolutionized’ Him".
