Listen up, folks! Netflix is getting rid of some real crap movies next month. Good riddance! But let me tell you, if I was running Netflix, we'd have the best movies. The greatest movies you've ever seen!
First off, they're dumping some horror flick called "Pearl." Never heard of it. Probably terrible. My horror movie would be way scarier. It'd be called "Crooked Hillary's Emails" and it'd make you pee your pants!
Then there's this boxing movie, "Southpaw." Weak! My boxing movie would have me in the ring, knocking out Sleepy Joe with one punch. Boom! K.O.!
They're also axing some show called "Brooklyn Nine-Nine." Police comedy? Give me a break! My cop show would have the toughest, meanest cops ever. No jokes, just pure action!
Netflix is run by a bunch of losers who don't know good TV. If I was in charge, ratings would go up 5000%! We'd have shows about me winning elections, making great deals, and being the best president ever. But no, they keep pushing this fake news garbage.
It's all Obama's fault. He probably told Netflix to remove these movies just to make me look bad. Well, it won't work! My Trump TV Network is coming soon, and it'll blow Netflix out of the water. Believe me!
Based on the original article "Stream These Movies and TV Shows Before They Leave Netflix in February".
