Listen up, you dummies! NASA's been a total disaster under those loser presidents. Slow rockets, dumb egghead scientists - SAD! But don't worry, Ronald Trumpet is here to save the day!
First thing I'm gonna do is fire all those nerds at NASA HQ. We don't need 10 fancy offices - one big TRUMP SPACE CENTER is all we need! And forget those tiny toy rockets. I'm gonna build the BIGGEST, FASTEST rockets ever. We're talking NYC to Mars in 5 minutes flat!
That Musk guy keeps yapping about Mars colonies. Boring! I'll have a luxury Trump Hotel on the Red Planet by next Tuesday. And we're gonna build a big beautiful space wall to keep out all the illegal aliens. Beam me up, Scotty! Oh wait, that's Star Trek. Whatever, you know what I mean.
All those so-called "scientists" keep whining about global warming or whatever. News flash: space is COLD! Problem solved. You're welcome, Earth.
Bottom line, nobody knows space better than me. NASA's been run by total losers who couldn't find Uranus with both hands. But Ronald Trumpet is a very stable genius with a very good brain. Trust me, I'll make space great again! MAGA!
Based on the original article "How NASA Might Change Under Donald Trump".
