Hey folks, it's me, Ronald Trumpet, here to tell you about the biggest chicken move in car history! General Motors, those losers, just gave up on their fancy-schmancy robot taxis. Can you believe it? They spent like a gazillion dollars on this thing, and now they're running away with their tails between their legs!
They're saying it's because the money's not coming in fast enough. Well, duh! That's because Elon Musk and his army of nerds at Tesla are hogging all the robot car glory. It's not fair, I tell ya! GM had a real chance to make cars that drive themselves and take people places without any humans involved. It would've been yuuuge!
But no, Mary Bara (or whatever her name is) decided to chicken out. She probably couldn't handle the pressure. I bet it's because she's a woman. If I was running GM, let me tell you, we'd have robot taxis on every street corner by now. They'd be the best robot taxis you've ever seen. People would be lining up for miles just to ride in one of my Trumpet Taxis!
Instead, GM is giving up and letting Amazon and that Waymo thing take over. It's a disgrace! They're probably in cahoots with the fake news media to make American cars look bad. Well, I'm not buying it!
When I become president of cars (it's a real thing, trust me), I'll make sure every car in America drives itself. And they'll all have gold-plated hood ornaments with my face on them. That's how you make cars great again, folks! GM could learn a thing or two from me, but they're too busy being losers. Sad!
Based on the original article "GM to Shut Down Its Cruise Robotaxi Project".
