Listen up, you dummies! I'm gonna tell you about the crap that's going on with my freaking awesome comeback plan. So there I was, sitting in my gold-plated toilet room at Mar-a-Lago, planning how to make everything great again, when these two mega-rich dudes show up. Elon What's-His-Face and Larry Something-or-Other. They're like, bazillionaires or whatever.
I look at my loser advisers and I'm like, "Hey, I brought the richest guys in the universe! What did you bring, huh?" And they just sat there like idiots. Typical!
Now, everyone knows I'm the best at picking people. The best! So I got all these Silicon Valley smartypants helping me out. They're doing interviews and stuff, even though some of them aren't officially on my team. But who cares? Rules are for losers!
You know what really grinds my gears? All these poor people and fake news trying to mess up my perfect plan. If they'd just let me and my rich buddies run things, we'd make everything so great your head would spin! We'd have flying cars, money growing on trees, and hot babes for everyone!
But no, these jealous haters keep getting in my way. Well, let me tell you something - I'm the best at comebacks. The best! And when I'm back in charge, oh boy, you'll see how amazing everything will be. Trust me, folks. I know things. Big things. The biggest!
Based on the original article "The Silicon Valley Billionaires Steering Trump’s Transition".
