Observation 41-C: the species permits any aggrieved member to summon nine random citizens into a wood-paneled room, where a robed elder referees a structured argument about feelings that occurred years prior. The losing party may then declare victory anyway, which is apparently legal.
Subject of interest: Elon Musk, currently the wealthiest specimen on the landmass, who alleged that Sam Altman and Greg Brockman "stole a charity." The nine citizens deliberated for under two hours — roughly 0.7 standard lunch-intervals — and concluded the grievance had been submitted past the permitted complaint-window. Judge Yvonne Gonzalez Rogers noted she was prepared to dismiss the matter unaided.
Of particular interest: subject's retained expert Dr. C. Paul Wazzan calculated the alleged theft at between $78.8 billion and $135 billion, a range wider than the gross output of several small nations. The Trans-Galactic Bureau of Damage Estimation classifies any figure with a $56.2 billion margin of error as "vibes."
Following the verdict, subject posted to the public broadcasting square that the only remaining question was WHEN the theft occurred, capitalizing the word for emphasis. His counsel Marc Toberoff issued the statement "One word: Appeal," which contains two words. The species does not appear to notice.
Based on the original article "Elon Musk has lost his lawsuit against Sam Altman and OpenAI".
