Listen up, folks! These so-called "smart" guys in Japan are trying to make animal cells do plant stuff. What a joke! They're messing with hamster cells and some weird algae thing. Waste of time!
They say they put little green bits in the cells and now they can eat sunlight. Big deal! I could've done that in 5 minutes with a green marker. But nooo, they spent like a billion years on this crap.
These science losers are all excited 'cause the cells didn't die right away. Wow, great job! They lasted two whole days before everything went to hell. I've had leftover burgers last longer than that!
Now they're dreaming about making fake meat and skin that grows with sunlight. Gimme a break! If you want meat, just eat a steak like a real man. And who needs fake skin? I've got the best skin, everyone says so.
You know what? I could make way better animal-plant things. I'd create cows that grow steaks on their backs, ready to eat. Or chickens that lay scrambled eggs. Now that's real science!
But these guys are too busy playing with their fancy microscopes to have good ideas like mine. Sad! If they'd just listen to me, we'd have amazing planimal things by now. I'm telling you, folks, I know cells better than anyone. Believe me!
Based on the original article "Researchers Give Animal Cells the Ability to Photosynthesize for the First Time".
