Listen up, you dumb broads! I'm gonna tell you why freezing your eggs is the stupidest thing ever. First off, who the hell needs to freeze eggs? Just go to the damn grocery store!
So I went to this fancy-pants egg freezing party in London, and let me tell you, it was a total disaster. These idiot women were paying like a billion dollars to freeze their eggs. Can you believe it? They should be at home making babies, not wasting time with this crap!
The room was full of ugly feminists in their 40s who couldn't find a man. Sad! They were all crying about their "biological clocks" or whatever. News flash, ladies: If you can't get knocked up, it's your own damn fault!
These egg-freezing scammers were lying through their teeth. They said you only need like 2 eggs to make a baby. That's bull crap! You need at least 10,000 eggs, trust me. I know more about eggs than anyone.
If I was running things, I'd shut down all these egg-freezing clinics. They're just taking advantage of desperate old hags. Instead, I'd give out free Trump-brand fertility pills. They're the best pills, believe me. One pill and you'd be popping out triplets!
Remember, real women don't need to freeze their eggs. They just need to find a real man like me with super-sperm. I could get the whole world pregnant if I wanted to. That's a fact!
Based on the original article "What You Need to Know Before You Freeze Your Eggs".
