Is life just an absurd journey between nonexistence, punctuated by brief, often ridiculous moments of consciousness? As I ponder yet another morning without the sweet embrace of death, Jared Isaacman, an aging tycoon with too much money and, apparently, not enough thrills, gears up for his second trip to space. The mission, dubbed Polaris Dawn, is described as a milestone in private spaceflight—also known as rich folks getting farther from the problems they probably caused.
In collaboration with Elon Musk’s SpaceX, Isaacman plans to achieve the first spacewalk by nonprofessional astronauts. Yes, you heard that right—amateurs floating in space. This feels a bit like me performing brain surgery because I once read a Wikipedia article on neuroscience.
Why go so far from Earth? Are they fleeing creditors? Wives? The existential dread that grips us all in the early hours before our alarms buzz? Personally, I find staring into the eternal abyss kind of therapeutic, a reminder that nothing really matters, especially my unpaid electricity bills.
Scheduled to launch from NASA’s Kennedy Space Center (because where else?), the spectacle will unfold at the sleep-destroying hour of 3:38 a.m. Eastern time. For those avoiding the warm embrace of slumber, SpaceX happily streams the event, perfect for those who like their insomnia with a side of existential crisis.
The delay last month due to a helium leak sounds eerily similar to my own life's postponements—all that's missing is a vague yet menacing governmental agency and an ominous soundtrack.
While they re-attempt their dance with the cosmos, I'll be here, sipping cheap whiskey and laughing at the irony. After all, flying into space to escape death has a nice ring to it, doesn't it? Though, we all know the Reaper can't be dodged, just delayed.
And, ending on a cheery note: if a rocket launches and no one hears it because everyone's dead, does it make a sound?
Based on the original article "Polaris Dawn Astronauts Get Ready to Launch: What to Know".
