Listen up, folks! These so-called "scientists" are at it again, trying to scare us with their big words and fake news about germs in the sky. They say they found hundreds of different types of bacteria and fungi up there. Ridiculous! I've been up in my plane thousands of times, and let me tell you, the sky is cleaner than ever before. It's all thanks to me, by the way.
These eggheads claim they found germs at 10,000 feet. Ha! I've been way higher than that, like a million feet up, and all I saw was beautiful, clean air. The best air, believe me. They say these germs flew over 1,200 miles? Please! I could fly that far in my sleep, and I'd do it without catching a single germ.
Now they're trying to blame diseases on these imaginary sky germs. It's all a hoax, folks! Just like the time they blamed me for that thing I definitely didn't do. Remember that? Total witch hunt!
If I were in charge of the sky (and I should be), I'd make it the cleanest sky you've ever seen. No germs, no clouds, just pure American air. These scientists don't know what they're talking about. They should stick to their test tubes and leave the real science to people like me who have natural talent. Sad!
Based on the original article "10,000 Feet Up, Scientists Found Hundreds of Airborne Germs".
